to love\hate in equal measures

Saturday, March 26, 2005 / 8:49 am

i hate feeling like my life is dangling precariously on one tiny finger on the edge of a ravine; i am aching to gain more ground whilst my deadweight of a body constantly reminds me of gravity's insistent presence.

i am waiting for rescue, i am waiting for you.

my bleeding heart is beating against her will. last night was hellish. i had to intention of waking up for fear my nightmares will spill into today. kept waking up with my body shaking involuntarily (i hate the fact that my bed reminds me of you) trying so so hard to put you out of my mind for awhile because i didnt want to think\bear the consequence if i woke up finding you wouldn't be there in the morning. or for that matter, all my mornings for the rest of my declining existence.

i love you so much it hurts. heartbreak has and always will be the last thing on my mind.

someone CHANGE me, please.

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